**Gelak 013** Calon Isteri....

Ceritanya begini, suatu hari di Kampung Pandan, Kuala Lumpur,ada seorang ibu yang gusar
kerana anak sulung lelakinya tak kawin-kawin lagi, so satu hari, si ibu pon bawakla calon-calon yang
dirasakan sesuai untuk menjadi bakal menantunya, dia pun menjemput kesemuanya kedalam rumahnya
Lalu memanggil anak sulong lelakinya untuk memilih kot-kot yang mana-mana dia berkenan...

CALON PERTAMA:

Ciri-ciri : Kulit cerah, rambut ikal mayang, pipi gebu, BUKIT besar.....
Pekerjaan : Operator telefon merangkap receptionist

Si anak lelaki menolak calon pertama. Si ibu bertanya mengapa dia menolak, lalu sianaknya pon
berkata:
" Ala Mak...nih tak syiioookkkk....dia nih selalu cakap
SILA TUNGGU SEBENTAR,TUNGGU SEBENTAR"

CALON KEDUA:

Ciri-ciri : Kulit sawa matang, mata bulat dan besar,badan 100% bergetah, BUKITnya Just nice
Pekerjaan : Setiausaha

Lalu sianak lelaki berkata "Nih lagi tak syyiiiooookkkk...asyik-asyik
HARAP BERSABAR...BERSABAR"


Si ibu pon gelisah kerana kebanyakkan calon yang ditunjukkan tidak memenuhi kriteria anak
lelakinya...lalu dia pon menjemput calon terakhir...

CALON TERAKHIR:

Ciri-ciri : Kulit gelap-gelita,mata sepet sikit, badan 99.99999% bergetah, BUKITnya kurang memuaskan
Pekerjaan : Guru.

Tanpa segan silu dan memikir panjang lalu si anak lelaki ini bersetuju untuk memilih calon ini.
Lalu si ibu pon pening kepala lalu bertanya kepada anak lelakinya mengapa dipilih calon ini.

Lalu anaknya pun memberitahu...
"Hah! mak nih la syyiookkk sikit...kalau cikgu best sikit..pasal dia selalu cakap
ULANG SEKALI LAGI, BUAT BANYAK-BANYAK,
SALAH NIH,BUAT MACAM NIH 10 KALI LAGI,
TERUSKAN..HAH..TERUSKAN DAH BETUL TUH..."

Tiba-tiba adik ! lelaki tersebut yang berumur 10 tahun menyampuk plak...
"Bang!!!....Konduktor bas mini lagi bagus bang.... Diorang selalu cakap....
"NAIK CEPAT,NAIK CEPAT...
MASUK,MASUK.....MASUK LAGI, DALAM LAGI...
DALAM LAGILAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,
MASUK BELAKANG....BELAKANG LAGI,
LAGI BELAKANG SANA
...BELAKANG BANYAK KOSONG!......

-dah tau teletubbies lelaki ke perempuan... ahAhHAhA

The Break In

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Desk Sergeant.

“No, no, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!“

Sex In The Jungle

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and, during her questions about his life, she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was, and he said, "Oh,Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have that all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground, and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, pointing, "You must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "Why the hell did you do that?"

"Tarzan check for bees!"